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Both of these expressions in essence seem to mean doing ‘whatever you like’ or ‘as you please’ in a selfish/self-centred kind of way.

Is there a difference in emphasis between the two? Is one considered more colloquial than the other, or more offensive?

Does the meaning or emphasis change significantly if used in the negative?

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Dar la gana se usa cuando no quieres hacer algo, no es ofensivo pero puede resultar basto/grotesco. Venir en gana se traduciría como apetecer, pero en este caso es un lenguaje más fino, típico de círculos profesionales.

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Both are practically identical in emphasis. I would personally say that 'darle la gana' is a tiny bit more offensive than 'venir en gana'. But that is just my personal context of usage of the expression. For another person it could be the opposite.

When used in the negative, neither the meaning nor the emphasis changes. If anything, I would say the same as before: 'no me da la gana' a tiny bit more offensive than 'no me viene en gana'. But could vary from person to person.

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