I have a tutor-student relationship with the person. We refer to each other as "usted" but I don't want to be called "Don (my first name)"; it feels too hierarchical.

  • 1
    «Por favor, no me trate por «don» / no use «don» conmigo, prefiero “…”». For me, it'd be odd, though, to use first name with usted. Be ready for Sr/Lic/Ing/Dr(ª) [surname], instead. – user0721090601 Mar 25 at 19:59
  • 1
    I'd say "No me trate de 'don'. Llámeme (directamente) por el nombre de pila". – Gustavson Mar 25 at 20:50
  • Are you teaching someone Spanish or English? If you are teaching them English, I understand the question. If you are teaching them Spanish, I do not. – Lambie Mar 26 at 17:22
  • I'm teaching Spanish speakers English. – Richard Lindo Mar 31 at 3:46

Just let the other person know about the fact that it makes you uncomfortable, that you feel it like an overly formal treatment.

Por favor, no me diga Don. (Sé que busca ser respetuoso pero me pone incómodo la distancia de tanta formalidad)

¡Con que me diga <your name> está bien! / [es suficiente].

  • a mí me suena mejor no me digas DE Don. Igual que decimos no me hable DE usted – fedorqui 'SO stop harming' Mar 26 at 16:19
  • Si. Seguramente esa manera sea regionalmente variable. En Argentina diríamos no me trate "de Don" – ipp Mar 26 at 16:57

I think you have to be careful here what you ask for. If you want to be addressed by your first name you are inviting a move away from usted which the student may be very uncomfortable with depending on the ambient level of formality in your institution.

I used to try to get visiting students to address me by my first name as I felt that travelling to a foreign country was partly about adopting the customs of that country. When some of them continued to call me professor I eventually decided that it was not my job to make them uncomfortable so I stopped insisting.

  • Yes, that's right, but the professor is only demanding not to be called 'Don'. He remains addressing his student as 'usted', signaling his intention of sticking to that respectful tone. – ipp Mar 26 at 15:18

Your Answer

By clicking “Post Your Answer”, you agree to our terms of service, privacy policy and cookie policy

Not the answer you're looking for? Browse other questions tagged or ask your own question.