I mean -- I don't see what she sees
But maybe it's 'cause this Charlie's answer won.
Welcome to a new edition of the game! If this is your first time, there's some info for beginners at the end of this post.
This week's proposed text is taken from Billie Eilish's last hit song: bad guy.
Here's the first verse:
White shirt now red, my bloody nose
Sleeping, you're on your tippy toes
Creeping around like no one knows
Think you're so criminal
Bruises, on both my knees for you
Don't say thank you or please. I do
What I want when I'm wanting to
My soul? So cynical
The goal is to translate the given text to Spanish, using as few letters as possible, while keeping all the original text's meaning and concepts more or less intact.
My own, non-golfed, rather sloppy and probably debatable translation:
Camisa blanca, ahora roja, mi nariz sangrante
Durmiendo, estás de puntillas
Arrastrándote por ahí como si nadie se diese cuenta
Piensas que eres tan criminal
Arañazos en mis dos rodillas por ti
No digas gracias o por favor. Yo hago
Lo que quiero cuando me apetece
¿Mi alma? Tan cínica (229 characters)
Concepts that must appear in the translation: physical descriptions (colors, movements, body parts, wounds etc.) should probably be kept, as well as the general meaning of the verse. Just be creative and I'll warn you if you cross any lines.
General rules for this game are as follows:
- Rules: Translation-golf rules
- Rhyme bonus: if you are up for a challenge, keep the number and rhyme of lines to get a 10% discount bonus in your total char count!
- The rhyming pattern is AAABCCCB. To get the full bonus you must manage to get a consonante rhyme for those lines in Spanish; however, an asonante rhyme will still get you a good 5%. Info about rhyme types in Spanish.
- Please note that you don't need to keep the metric too: if you weren't allowed to make the lines shorter, there wouldn't be much golfing left to do ;-)
Also, remember that not every character counts for the total: only letters and numbers do. You can paste your translation in the letter counter linked below to obtain your char count.
- Letter counter: jsfiddle
You may want to check past translation-golf questions to get a feel of the game dynamics and the kind of answers expected.
Want to share translation ideas, ask for clarifications or just tease other contestants? Join us in La Tertulia, Spanish.SE's official chat room!