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"Es José" is grammatically wrong. It seems like a word-by-word translation from English. I don't know if it is used somewhere, but here in Spain it sounds completely wrong. "Me llamo José" could be used when calling an unknown person. Like if you are a sales rep or something, and you want to introduce yourself: "me llamo José y le llamo de la compañía X..." ...
The exact same way you respond to "How are you?" in English: With an answer for how you are doing. Some examples: Bien. Muy bien. Muy mal. Más o menos. Estoy cansado. Tengo hambre. No sé. Estoy enfermo. Estoy sano como un roble. Estoy feliz como un niño en una tienda de dulces. ... You get the idea.
Spanish people also make the noises we do in these situations, eg ahh, mm-hmm Other words someone might use in the situation you mentions are Ok En serio?! (Really?!) Bueno (Ok) Dale (Ok then, as in like, ok then do that) Wow (wau, uau, however you want to spell it)
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