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Suppose you're in a situation where you have a formal/business relationship with someone, but the relationship has become more familiar over time. The other person continues to call you usted. How can you politely ask them to begin referring to you in the form? Is it ever inappropriate (by situation or geography) to ask to be referred to in the form instead of usted?

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up vote 17 down vote accepted

In Spain we would say either of these:

Trátame de tú.


Or, in a more indirect way:

No me trates de usted.

Any of them in a cheerful manner and usually accompanied by the perceptive "por favor" if needed.

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In Argentina we also use Tutéame but we say: Tuteame (without the accent) – Lucas G. Sánchez Apr 11 '12 at 15:44
+1 for Tutéame! – César Apr 11 '12 at 17:56

You can say in a cheerful tone:

Puedes hablarme de tú.     (You may speak to me informally)

It might be helpful to precede the sentence with an encouragement word, like this:

¡Vamos! Háblame de tú.     (Come on! Talk to me informally)

Please note that this applies particularly to Latin-American Spanish speakers. Some parts of Spain (and Argentina!) could be more conservative regarding the use of 'tú' and instead use the older 'vos'.

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In Spain the "vos" is out of use. And you can say "tutéame por favor" or (more informal and for people around the same age or a little youger than you) "no me hables de usted que me haces viejo" – Laura Apr 11 '12 at 6:36
The word "vos" in Argentina is not more conservative tan "tú" (we just don't use the word "tu" for anything but the possessive form). – Protron Apr 11 '12 at 14:36
Spain doesn’t use vos as a formal kind of . Spain uses usted for formal singular. Yes, there is an archaic way of speaking that uses vos, but it sounds like someone using “dost thou wish thy own?” kinda arcaicism. Perhaps if you were super-formally addressing the king or some such. – tchrist May 31 '12 at 4:17

The verb tutear means precisely that. Example: "oh por favor, tutéame".

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I understand that both of you are using “usted” with each other. In that case, in my opinion, it's inappropriate to address them using “tú”, even if it's to ask them to use “tú” towards you.

You should just politely propose that you start using “tú” between each other. Some options:

¿Nos tuteamos?

¿Por qué no nos tuteamos?

Ya podríamos tutearnos, ingeniero, ¿no le parece?

But if the situation is asymmetric, and you already treat them with familiarity, then use some of the proposals in the other answers.


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I would say: "Puedes tutearme".

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